Do UFOs contribute to Global Warming?

When I woke up this morning, I could smell nothing but my bad breath. It’s not even considered ‘morning breath’, it’s more a mixture of rotten eggs and decomposed veggies. When I brushed my teeth I swept through the pocket of my wisdom tooth, it smelled like…well…the closest I could describe would be just like the mucus coming out of my throat once in a while :-( Believe me, you’d think a skunk smell better than mucus coming out of ur throat…

Then I was in the bus. It was a sea of UFOs. Body odor (I think the underarm areas), smelly feet (called ‘Hong Kong feet’ in the Chinese communities), B*A*D breath, constant perspiration…God this place smelled worse than my dog’s Mickie’s breath…

Killer B.O. strikes at noon every day. Today it was 10 in the morning. I don’t have the habit of using deodorants and I don’t shave often. And according to Wikipedia, sweat itself doesn’t release odor. It’s the bacteria that are breeding inside chase all the boyfriend-potentials away…

Then I talked to one of my supervisors. Lovely lady. Friendly too. Only thing she smokes. And one heck of a heavy smoker she is…when she opened her mouth I wondered how many guys she actually went out for a second date…She’s one of the many of my supervisors and her superior who smoke. I sometimes wonder why people, especially ladies, smoke. I guess stress is a huge problem, and cigarettes & alcohol became synonymous with emancipating from one’s problem… Then again, they’re also tantamount to the increasing numbers of cancers, organ dysfunctions and ultimately, tragedies. I hate to see my father waste away…

Back to UFOs. According to Wikipedia, body odor is ‘associated with the hair, feet, groin, anus, skin in general, underarms, genitals, pubic hair and mouth’. God you'd think that covers EVERYTHING~ You know how our furry four-legged friends be introduced to strangers? Or even you yourself when that cute little thing saw you the very first time you picked it up at a pet shop? Or in my case, roadside? They first smell your groin, then when you start pooch-smooching they smell your breath until their doggie breath become so unbearable (to us).

The Canis lupus familiaris have developed a smell sense far greater than all 6 billion of us put together, especially the Bloodhound breed. Now imagine this, how would a Bloodhound feel in a cramped public bus? No pun intended, but that, my friend, would be his very last breath.

Now back to my original question. Do UFOs contribute to global warming? My body emits sweat, bad breath, killer b.o. underarms, foul smell around the groin area (don’t deny it girls!!!), and ‘Hong Kong feet’. Are the 6 billion of us, our organic bodies, biologically responsible for the increase in the greenhouse gas emissions? Or maybe, the increase in our body temperature, slowly but surely destroying Mother Earth?

So much for my piece on B.O… until then, UFO: Unknown Foul Odor. So long and good night~